Leave me.

I don’t know what happened to me, what made made me this way
What took power over my mind, and my body
I don’t know how my heart began so fragile and became so concrete
I don’t know why I am so full of rage
I terrify myself in my anger
I want to destroy everything around me
I want to break every window, dish, glass, and heart
I want everything in the near vicinity to shatter, or rather vanish
They’ll tell you this is normal
It’s not
They’ll tell you everything is fine
It’s not
They’ll tell you to be happy
Well I’m fucking pissed
They’ll tell you it’ll all workout
My fists continue to clench
I have been angry for so long
I don’t know how to set myself free
They tell you religion
I’ve tried
They tell you meditation
I can’t focus
They tell you you’ll grow out of it
It grows stronger
I don’t want to be this
I have to be this
I know only this
I am this
I can’t escape this
I am trapped and confined
This space is not safe for me
I have no where to run
I cannot hide from these truths
These truths have captured me and hold me hostage
I want them to leave
Just like I want him to leave, and him to leave
So I push them away until they have to leave me
Because the truth is being alone is the only time I can’t hurt or fail someone
I can’t poison them with my toxic ways when they’re gone
So I push them away, far
And I sit here, still angry, still trapped
Trapped in the poison that took me over so long ago
And I wait, I wait for the next
And then I do it all over again.Leave me